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Signs Your Castle Has Been
Infiltrated by Dark Horde Ninja


  1. You keep wondering whose yaks those are .......
  2. The castle priest says he has converted to a new order. What the hell is a Cippist anyway?
  3. You notice that your Prime Minister seems shorter than before, and his mustache keeps falling off.
  4. You notice that there is hot, running water in the garderobe ... and in the kitchen... and in the moat!
  5. You fired your food taster for refusing to come to work two weeks ago, and still no applications for the job.
  6. All the 'The King is a Fink!' graffiti has been replaced with 'The King is a really nice guy who shouldn't worry about anything.'
  7. You find 'Now Open Under New Management' signs hidden under the stairs.
  8. Someone seems to have drunk all the best beer and other potables. Do You Think We're KIDDING?
  9. And the stuff they bring YOU to drink tastes and smells like fermenting horse milk.
  10. Red and Black seem to be popular choices for clothing this season.
  11. You don't remember THAT many lightning bolt motifs in the decorations.
  12. There is candle wax residue on the key to your treasure vault.
  13. And the one to your weapons locker...and the one to your secret exit...
  14. And the one to your wife's chastity belt.
  15. Your foreign advisors tell you all your neighbors are suddenly willing to wait to settle border disputes, saying they anticipate a 'more agreeable climate soon.'
  16. The gardener is replanting the rose garden as a circle, with red ones on one side and black ones on the other.
  17. And has asked for yellow ones 'for accent to enhance the effect.'
  18. All the guard stations are now furnished with soft pillows and warm blankets.
  19. And their rations now include a lot of that missing booze.
  20. The new cook sure likes to use almond flavoring in the cookies.
  21. And the busboys suddenly seem to be wearing a lot more knives.
  22. And so are the chambermaids, for that matter.
  23. Come to think of it, so is your daughter.

    And the number one sign your castle has been infiltrated by Dark Horde ninja ...

  24. Everything SEEMS perfectly normal ....

WE ARE THE DARK HORDE



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