Make your own free website on


IOSEPH OF LOCKSLEY, OL, OPel, Baron &c, is a Celtic Bard and ne'er-do-well that usually lives in Cromwell's England. He plays several period instruments, writes, sings and collects songs, and hides from the authorities a lot. He used to fight rapier, has a Cavalier Attitude, and is an old used Laurel King of Arms of the SCA and a Grumpy Baron. He has been in the SCA since A.S. 2, and has served in every SCA office ...... except Seneshal. He seldom takes apprentices or protegés, does not read at all, and does not play in his Kingdom of residence. He is a Dead Knight.

W.J. (JOE) BETHANCOURT III is a professional entertainer, writer, web-page builder and former law enforcement officer. Among his other bad habits, he plays and collects 5-string banjos and expects people to be honest and courteous.

He can be reached at PO Box 35190, Phoenix AZ 85069.


I wrote this as an allegory in the style of those that were popular in late period, trying to capture the "flavor" of the language without being so different from modern English as to render it unintelligible to the modern reader.

This was not written as a "scholarly" pastiche, so don't get Compulsively Authentic with me, but rather as a story that would appeal to, and be enjoyed by, the average member of the SCA .... and to point several morals.

I must also say something about the usage of "Thee" and "Thou," in the context of this piece of writing, and that is simply that "Thee" and "Thou" were the -familiar- forms of "You." To be absolutely correct, I should have had any social inferior use "you" to a superior, and "thee" to an equal or inferior, but this might have become confusing to the modern reader ... so I just used "Thee" and "Thou" throughout, in order to give another "flavor" of the period.

Equally, the word "an" in a period context usually means "if."

The Seven Children of Virtue are, of course, the Seven Virtues of the Medieval/Renaissance world, and the Seven Children of Darkness are the Seven Deadly Sins.

I felt the need to add an eighth, however, but made it (Gossip) a Queen, to further point out that Gossip is a very deadly thing in the SCA, and is perhaps more deadly than the Seven Sins, in some cases. It is truly ugly, and destroys people's dreams, and sometimes their lives, very quickly. The vicious gossip is the lowest form of life.

There was one literary convention, the "pastoral interlude," that I altered a bit. In period, it would involve shepherds and sheep, but due to the common SCA jokes about sheep I decided to alter the setting to something a bit different, and very close to my own heart.

I have footnoted each reference wherever possible, and recommend that the reader look up those references and read them, both as good entertainment, and as doggone good examples of what we are all about.

Names have been changed to protect the guilty ... you will probably recognize several of the characters herein, though all are composites of persons I have met in these Current Middle Ages, and not lampoons of any individual(s) in particular.

I will admit, however, that the descriptions of King Honour and his Queen Love are descriptions of two people that I hold in the highest respect, as embodying in reality the Dream that we all search for. Who are they? You'll know them when you meet them.

Another good, and very period, example of this kind of writing is the "Our Kind" series by Goldwyn of Britain. Those three plays are quite funny, and very educational indeed. If you get a chance to see them performed, don't pass it up!

I hope you enjoyed it, and maybe learned something.

-Ioseph of Locksley
OL, OPel, Baron &c.

Interestingly enough, this was used as the basis for a D&D-like LARPG by the folks over at Amtgard. You can read the write-up/rules here.

Permission is REFUSED to reprint in any corporate SCA publications. Unofficial publications may reprint at will. Send a copy to the author if you do at: PO Box 35190, Phoenix AZ 85069

Related Texts

Comment to the author?
Go back to the Horde Page!